Two Months later...

Solitude.. That lovely spot between feeling sleepy

but wide awake, the joyeous point of post humor, lack luster,

sensitvie, pregenerative, regenerative, energetic, majestic.

The words of a madman feeling mad and sad and glad.

The impulse to do, to want, even the need.. but the not.

the void, the lack, the holding ones back.. the doubt,

the fear.. it all becomes clear as i sit here asleep, but

awake, i debate my choices, my needs.. Blue reeds..

I turn my back and there it is, the fabled laugh, the raucous din

questions to ask, but noone to here, why am i alone in here.

I close my eyes to shed a tear but all the world will see is cheer,

the smile without the pain within, lifes about hope not sin.

So do i live? Do i feel, do i exist... am i an eel?

I ask myself that, ive been asking awhile, ive even asked others.

Can i exist in this world, the world, your world.. im not even sure i exist in my own.

When the me that is my, is not my own, but a me who is him,

then who am i? where am i? and why am i not with you.

Ah, the sleepiness again, the solitude runs through,

runs deep and ends... nowhere else to flow.

let it go... no.